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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Detail in a tiny thought Systematic think alot Pride and guilt perfect fit Consistent to follow plot Tedeious and everyday Same routine of overlay Conscious state I fear a bit Nervously I live this way Paranoia of whats around Visions of a scary sound Serpent anger laced in spit Soild way to underground |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
interesting poem here, i liked all the feelings and emotions you put through.it was a nice piece of work....the rhyming messed me up a little cause it didn't seem consistent to me, but nice poem at any rate. riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thanx a trickle of music from a well |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Actually I do need to apoloize about this one Sorry |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
makaveli.... |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Quite original piece you wrote here, fellow poet. It's intriguing, to say the least. I'm still debating on what I feel it means... I like the length of it, and the flow is decent, though it does stumble a bit now and then. Nicely done.  Why appologize?~Titus  The few. The proud. The Marines. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (07-30-2003 07:41 PM).] |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Yeah maybe I didnt need to apologize, I guess I just feel I could have done better. a trickle of music from a well |
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Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
I like the last stanza the best. Your style really carries for you, but if you're stuck on rhyming (which you seem to be pretty good at anyway) you might want to work on that a bit more. (Smile Craig.) jaime. the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I dont know if I just didnt expect to see a response from you or what but it kind of surprised me. Yeah thats what wranx and eor have been telling me. And if you check out a few I have in dark you might see Im trying to develope a new style or at least make this one a bit more interesting. Thanx for the response. a trickle of music from a well |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is pretty cool poem dude |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
thanx katherine a trickle of music from a well |
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Song_for_Serenity Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97USA |
Hey there! Great poem. I loved the style. Anyhoo, have a spiffy day! ~Angela |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Jimi agrees a trickle of music from a well |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
You've described what it feels like to be an obsesive compulsive in it's extreme detail.. I think reading it twice gave me a more clear picture of how confining it must be to need to feel comfortable and in control of your surroundings always.... to go to extremes and take something as simple as a thought and NEED to pull it apart, examine it and set in on the head of a pin for observation. Very well done indeed. Incidently, the rhyme scheme although not consistant, did alot to create the feeling of discord in a seemingly very organized life and the lines are brief and hit with force. I liked this one a lot. Sherry Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thanx Sherry. I guess I am kind of obsesive and compulsive about a few things. Like somethings that some people do for fun I put myself in the mind set that its a job and I have to complete it. Thanx again. GIS a trickle of music from a well |
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