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Teen Poetry #6
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~*Tantalize*~
Junior Member
since 2003-07-29
Posts 26
Sunny California (San Francisco Bay Area)

0 posted 2003-07-29 11:30 PM


Hey everyone, I wrote this when I was having some more than "friends" feeling about a friend...is this ok to post here though? I'm new and haven't read all the posts here yet and hope its ok.
~Jen

I go to sleep and dream a dream
Of passion every night
I close my eyes and search for you
Because I know it feels so right
Once in my dreamland
I long for your embrace
And a smile of joy appears
As soon as I see your face

But there is a person lying next to me
And I’m not sure what to do
I love him with all my heart
But my body aches for you

So, back to my dream
The details I must share
We walk closer to each other
We are stuck in a passionate stare

I lick my lips and think to myself
All the things I’d like to do
Many things I must admit
But number one is you

You wrap you arms around me
And pull my body near
Passion covers me entirely
I want you right here

I look into your eyes
And I can see much desire
You run your hands all over my body
Truly starting my fire

You kiss me very passionately
And whisper in my ear
I think you feel the same as I
Because you say you want me right here

You lay me on the ground
And look deep into my eyes
Everything dormant in me
Rapidly begins to fly

See there is something I have been missing
And clearly it is this
Because after just a few minutes with you
I am overwhelmed with bliss

Sweet love is what we make
Together you and I
But quickly it is over
Oh how the time flies

I hear my alarm beeping
Telling me to wake
My dream felt so real
But clearly it was fake

I wake with thoughts of you
That linger all day long
I have him, but want you
Someone tell me this is wrong

Thoughts of you fill my mind
I’m always wanting more
I have to wait until tonight
My dreams I do adore


© Copyright 2003 Jennifer ~*Tantalize*~ - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-07-29 11:59 PM


well HELLOOOO

jeez welcome to passions that was quite a first post if i've ever seen one...

its a little... well... i would be careful posting something like that. it was good, lots of emotion and... yeah. BUT... it was a litte-- riskay?? lol good job anyhow

~cassi

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
2 posted 2003-07-30 01:35 AM


Awww...! This was amazing! Absolutely great imagery! Great work..this is goin' in my library!

Oh yeah...I don't see a problem with this poem being in the teen section but others might. Just thought I'd let ya in on that! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

chicken
Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44

3 posted 2003-07-30 08:39 AM


gr8 1st post ten times better than mine its full of emotion and rather ummm erotic! just a thought well done
  -E.M.D


AlostHeart
Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.
4 posted 2003-07-30 10:24 AM


This is a really good write with lots of emotion. I think you should be ok as long as your not swearing or anything. Keep up the good work and i hope to read more of yours.
~*~Tori~*~

Be happy, and respectful, dont forget about those ones that will always love you no matter how much you screw up!

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
5 posted 2003-07-30 11:05 AM


This was an excellant first post. Welcome to Passions! I really love this poem. I could see and feel the whole thing. It was very emotional, and I could relate to it very well. I think you should be okay in posting this here, but I would be careful with any more. Great write, I hope to see more from you.

-Jen

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it's expressed in the choices on makes." -Eleanor Roosevelt

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

6 posted 2003-07-30 04:08 PM


*hatred remembers 4th stanza and laughs like french man*  good onnnneeeeeee.
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
7 posted 2003-07-30 04:54 PM


That was awsome! I am pretty new here too and none of my poems are that great! good job!
Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
8 posted 2003-07-30 10:40 PM


Goodness... You sure know how to make a first impression. Welcome to Passions. That was an amazing first post. The flow is a little off in some places, but it was still a great poem. I look forward to seeing more from you. Have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
9 posted 2003-07-31 06:31 AM


a confession in the first poem interresting very interresting. But seriously this is a great poem, it oozzes passion. i say ditch the guy you're with and be with the one you want, just remember it's never as good as you think it will be.
freudian_slip
New Member
since 2003-06-20
Posts 7
collective soul of humanity
10 posted 2003-07-31 09:32 PM


Chalk full of emotion, great write

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare

Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2003-07-31 10:04 PM


SSSSSTEAMY!!!!!!~~~~~~

wow!!!!!

Couldn't have said it better myself.  Had dreams like that for 17 years.... finally ditched all the doorknobs and married him!!! After I let him know I was still dreaming of him.


Looking forward to reading more of you.

Sherry

Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
12 posted 2003-08-01 12:51 PM


Damn!! Thats the first word that comes to mind! You sure started off with a bang! Welcome to passions hun, great first post chalked full of imagery and passion!! I truley adored it personally but I would be carfull about a lot of these, one or two and nobody is going to scream or yell but much more than that and they might move it to a different forum. I loved the feelings that were evoked through this poem though the flow was a bit off in some places and I would try and stay away from using the word "passion" to much, your trying to make your audience .:feel:. the passion if you get what I'm saying. Oh yeah and had a good chuckle at the fourth stanza, hehe..I love that you threw that in there, so true too!! All around lovely piece I hope to see more just as stunning
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

~*Tantalize*~
Junior Member
since 2003-07-29
Posts 26
Sunny California (San Francisco Bay Area)
13 posted 2003-08-01 03:13 AM


Hey guys, wow, I am glad eveyone likes my work. Thank you all so much for replying, this is the best BB I have ever been to, you guys are all the best, I will find more and post it tomorrow!
Love J

magic_612
Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
NB, Canada
14 posted 2003-08-01 03:09 PM


wow that poem is so full of feeling and emotion.. I am very impressed by how it made me feel. Very good work
Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
15 posted 2003-08-01 04:37 PM


whoa... what a way to make a first impression! Passionate,emotional... I give it a 10.Keep up the good work, and welcome to passions!

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland
16 posted 2003-08-02 12:34 PM


you just cant understand how close to home this was for me... they rhyming added beautifully... i loved it and empathise with every sigh.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

lingering thoughts
Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70
Illinois, USA
17 posted 2003-08-02 10:02 PM


!WoW! GREAT 1st post! i wish i could write this well LOL...I dont see any problem w/posting here..its not like teens dont have feelings like this right?!..
ill be looking for more of yours
and by the way **WELCOME TO PASSIONS**!
CaSSandra*

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