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Teen Poetry #6
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StraightFromTheHeart
New Member
since 2003-07-24
Posts 7
In a computer chair on mi butt.......

0 posted 2003-07-27 02:52 AM


[A] very special gurl
[M]ysterious lonely lyfe
[A]lways trying hard
[N]ever giving up
[D]oing her best
[A]nd striving for the best

Behind mi smile liez a broken heart!

© Copyright 2003 Amanda Burrell - All Rights Reserved
StraightFromTheHeart
New Member
since 2003-07-24
Posts 7
In a computer chair on mi butt.......
1 posted 2003-07-27 03:10 AM


Remember be honest!  

           ☼muah☼

Behind mi smile liez a broken heart!

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
2 posted 2003-07-27 11:35 AM


this was good, but the [ ] things kinda messed me up....lol. and watch the spellings of the words, gurl, girl....mrs. mcgee got you on that one during the school year in a paper memeber?


over all good job


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

3 posted 2003-07-27 09:23 PM


......amanda.....reminds me of a little girl i knew once......the name anyway.  haha
PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2003-07-28 01:30 AM


Hi there.

This was good. I ended up, though, wishing there was more too it. I liked the idea behind it, and how you went about it, but still wanted more. Maybe three stanzas using "AMANDA" again? It's up to you. Props for going for something different. I agree with Riley, the "[]" was a bit confusing and an eye sore, but a nice idea.

~Titus

The few. The proud. The Marines.

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