»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
pure rage
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
pure rage |
|
|
dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
i grit my teeth dry cracked lips curl back blood rushes to my skull eyes widen and begin to bulge i begin to shake vigorously my hands clench my hair eyes squint and swell i fall to my knees, pathetic and weak and the last tear of my humanity drops to the floor all that remains is rage rage for the once love in my life but you are now married to another the love i once felt is hurled from my gut to your feet as i rise to my feet i glare into your eyes and i see you burn ...as i burn with pure rage |
||
| © Copyright 2003 dertah - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
wow so emmotinal, I can see the images Nice! I'm just kickin it up |
||
|
teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
Yeah definitely very emotive. Sorry about what happened to you. That's gotta be...well it must really suck. Lo ciento. The future isn't now, that was yesterday. |
||
|
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I really liked this. Very vivid. Nice job. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
||
|
Silent Evincar Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179Here There and Places Between |
My main man dertah... oh so it seems that life has cheated you once again?? I must admit this strikes me as a poem that sees totally red... blinded anger. The best kind of anger... emotional rage and it leads to the kind of writing that becomes a skill more than a hobbie. I applaud you and the performance in this piece... don't ever stop trying. NJS |
||
|
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
eyes squinting and sweeling at the same time. that is definately rage. So descriptive. I liked it. ~Lex |
||
Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
the description in this was just striking...it literally took my breath away..... quote: this part...the feet, feet thing interupted (sp?) the flow just a bit quote: loved this part.....anger shows very clearly..... overall great piece riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
||
|
Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
"i fall to my knees, pathetic and weak and the last tear of my humanity drops to the floor"thatw as my best lines.such a RICH poem.and i'm sure the feeling hurts so bad.just hold on, be strong and keep ur heart open. |
||
|
Song_for_Serenity Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97USA |
Great write! This was very intense. I really like how evident the emotion in this is. Keep up the great work! ~Angela |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
