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Teen Poetry #6
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Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-07-21 05:34 PM


I breathe in the breath they breathe out.
Living off the excess of their happiness,
cause we know they have some to spare.
Choking it down,
Living off their poison.
But it feels so good, in my stomach.
And I know I'm dying, but I don't mind.
I stare into their faces..
Feeding off of their smiles, swallowing down their laughter.
Hoping to spark something human within myself

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-21-2003 08:33 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-07-21 06:22 PM


very intense... good tho.  watch spelling... otherwise it was pretty good.  the first line was confusing but once i understood it, it was good.

nice job
~cassi

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
2 posted 2003-07-21 06:47 PM


i do agree, intense, i liked it...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
3 posted 2003-07-21 07:21 PM


I agree totally, this is a very deep and intense poem, and most assuredly a poem bound for my library.  I understand the depth of emotions behind those words all to well: you described my life.  Keep on writing.  I hope to see more from you here, should I return.

                                                                                                                                'Rich'

Forever I will stand
always here with you.
Now stay and hold my hand
and together we'll go somewhere new.
~Rich~

Gabkicks
Junior Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 13

4 posted 2003-07-21 08:34 PM


Good poem.
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

5 posted 2003-07-21 09:39 PM


nice read.
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
6 posted 2003-07-22 12:50 PM


Sucking down the existense of everyone all around you to find life? Ohh the humanity, and very true... their poison may kill, but to live. It is a good read...
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