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Teen Poetry #6
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Alnilam
Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75


0 posted 2003-07-15 09:23 PM


Old, and not so great. Give me any helpful ideas that come to mind thanks

Something About Him

I can't stop
My heart's so full it'll pop
And I keep falling
For something about him

My best friend
With whom all my time
I wish to spend
Whom I know
Inside and out
The man I can't live without
And I keep falling
For something about him

In his eyes
Stars I want to place
On his face
A smile I want to create
In his heart
I long to be
And I keep falling
For something about him

Wanting to tell him
Wanting to be his
Wishing he could see
Wishing I could be
And I keep falling
For something about him

~*Alnilam*~
"The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."

© Copyright 2003 Alnilam - All Rights Reserved
T-Bird
Junior Member
since 2003-07-02
Posts 17
Washington, United States
1 posted 2003-07-16 12:20 PM


i really liked it. i've been in the same position and i still am with my very best friend alberto.
frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
2 posted 2003-07-16 10:32 AM


I like it the way it is, nice read and write

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-07-17 05:11 PM


This is great. I liked the repition. I loved especially..the third stanza.
Keep it up.
~Lex..

Magia_negra
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 77
CA, USA
4 posted 2003-07-17 08:22 PM


Emotions, thats what i like in poetry, and you have them, Alnilam. Nice write,

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
   mi vida...

Alnilam
Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75

5 posted 2003-07-18 08:34 PM


thanks everyone for your replies. Im glad someone reads it! I hope it wasnt too horrible.
Magia Negra...hablas espanol??

~*Alnilam*~
"The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
6 posted 2003-07-28 12:28 PM


This was really sweet. I really liked it! Great write.

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

anawnda
Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113

7 posted 2003-07-28 11:49 PM


sweet and simple, been in that kind of situation twice....and it sucked!!!!
brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

8 posted 2003-07-29 12:13 PM


Hey that was good i liked it, i can REALLY relate to that it was so weird reading it b/c it was like the werds comin outta my mouth lol well great write! l8r
          
                 ~*~*brezee*~*~

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