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Teen Poetry #6
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Dayna_Sorrow
New Member
since 2003-07-13
Posts 4


0 posted 2003-07-13 06:36 PM


Okay, so I have just become a teen ager and so far I am not happy. But I notice that it gets better.

The World Passes By

Walking down the street,
Waiting for a miracle,
Wondering where have I gone to,
Talking to the past.

Looking for new love,
Nothing I can see so far,
Sitting on the grass,
Watchin’ clouds pass by over head.

When the world passes by,
There’s nothing more I can say,
When the world passes by,
To much I have missed.

Wishing on a star,
Wanting to be real again,
Noticing the fun I passed,
While I was mourning.

Just a spirit,
No one can here me,
As I pass people,
I hear whispers in my head.

When the world passes by,
There’s nothing more I can say,
When the world passes by,
To much I have missed.

I wake up,
I feel,
The world did not pass me by.

© Copyright 2003 Dayna_Sorrow - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-07-13 10:18 PM


hmm...you say you have just become a teenager..so I would think that you are 13. This was very good, very well written..my poetry was no where near this good at age 13. I loved the 3rd and 5th stanzas, thoses were my favorite parts. Thanks for sharing this. I liked the ending..a happy twist. Don't ever lose your hope.
Welcome...
~Lex...

Rise of Truth
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun
2 posted 2003-07-14 04:54 AM


Well Lexy, 13 should be a safe bet. Though mother says there's no such thing, especially in dealing with your ilk...anyway, i digress. Well, i am just opposite you, a year from leaving this stretch of time. Poetry is the drill to ones soul, it's a long way down...best to get started early.

I am the prophet
Harbinger of what you fear the most
Your enemy of belligerent honesty
Destroyer of your livelihood, built on falsehood

collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland
3 posted 2003-07-14 09:04 AM


this has a real sense of realism, for your age, that rocks! it was indeed a beautiful poem, it's no hard to walk down the street and realise that everything is infact crumbling.... sigh...
sixington
Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53
Utah
4 posted 2003-07-21 02:22 AM


this poem seems kind of upset, anxious. at the end its very happy in light of the rest. nice write!
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
5 posted 2003-07-22 03:33 AM


Ran smack dab into that wall already huh? Well for jumping into this chaos so soon, you have a nice way of writing. Clever, I look forward to more... surprise me.


         NJS

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