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Teen Poetry #6

Growing Pains

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

0 posted 2003-07-04 01:37 PM

Another story another meal
Eat and eat grab your fill
Swallow hard the smallest bite
A workout plan the fat to kill

Another woe of freedom pride
Stop the hunger slogan friction
Diseased starving poor excuse
Die a swollen food addiction

---------------------
I could add to this but Im not going to

What do you think?

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

1 posted 2003-07-05 01:23 PM

Gosh... okay...

I say, the technical stuff is all fine... good job on that.

But the theme... sounds like you're on a diet. And a not very happy one at that. Being a sterotypical size is NOT worth making your life miserable... okay? The people who are even worth bothering with will love you just the way you are.

Hope you feel better soon... *hugs*

-Lioness

Alnilam
Member

since 2003-07-04

Posts 75

2 posted 2003-07-05 06:47 PM

I really liked this read. Its technically very well put together. I can relate to the topic as well. I enjoyed this along with the rest of your poetry. Thanks for another good read.

~*Alnilam*~
The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood.
-Jean Cocteau-

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

3 posted 2003-07-05 11:50 PM

thanks for the complements.
Im not on a diet i just wanted to write about something intelligent and lots of people are unhappy about the way they look so........

Again thanks.

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