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Teen Poetry #6

that distraction is you.

clumsy
Member

since 2002-10-10

Posts 106
canada.

0 posted 2002-10-13 11:13 PM

And there's less then
2 hours until tomorrow
but more then 14 hours until
I get to see you, until
I get to kiss you again.

I'm listening to our song
Trying not to cry-
Because I miss you so much
And I need a distraction
And that distraction is you

I want to write you songs
That make you glitter,
And not cry, I want to
Lie with you forever
And touch your hair,
And breathe you in

I walked home tonight
In the darkness of the
Streets, and leaves fell
Making a crown on my hair
And all I did was
Wished you were here.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2002-10-14 01:38 AM

I liked the poem. Very well written. Probably one of my favs from you.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2002-10-14 08:53 AM

Very well written, I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing

Andrew

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-14 12:15 PM

This is very well written. Stanzas! hehe...

But that's not the only reason... you have some great images here... I like the description of the crown, towards the end. Really well thought-through.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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