Teen Poetry #6 |
Tattoos |
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Tonight, I dance upon your tattoos. So sore my eyes from looking at the faded hues. Should I swurve and curve my way around you. To then suffocate the secrets that circle as carousel. Truth be told, I did sorround the fact that, with words my heart would inevitably begin to melt. That sweet twinge on my tongue, of your thoughts lingering to my lips. Another cheapened dream, I kiss. Drawn, overwhelmed by your tattoos.. |
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© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Truth be told, I did sorround the fact that, with words my heart would inevitably begin to melt. That sweet twinge on my tongue, of your thoughts lingering to my lips. Another cheapened dream, I kiss. Drawn, overwhelmed by your tattoos.." whoa! this rocks! |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
beautiful words, i liked very much, and to quote SEA "whoa, this rocks" could not of said it better my self... [This message has been edited by eor (07-01-2003 01:38 PM).] |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
You don't, by any chance, watch RK, do you? I believe I've read some of your pieces before, and every piece you've written so far is beautifully captivating. There is no doubt that you have poetic talent. The first stanza, I felt, was a bit out of place. It was not the content; instead, it was the format/rhyme scheme. It didn't seem to match the style of the poem. The second stanza was incredible. The word choice could not be any better, and the flow was awesome. Would you be able to tell me the significance of the tattoos? I'm not sure I have the right idea yet. Keep up the writing! I'm definately looking forward to more. I'm putting this one in my library. -Leah |
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Very, very cool Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
way cool... |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
Liked it. Tattoos often have meaning to the person they are on(with the exception of the one on my butt that I get when I was drunk), but an intersting idea is to explore the reaction of the person looking at them. This piece had some great imagery, and an unusual theme. Nice one. Ellie I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged! |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"Would you be able to tell me the significance of the tattoos?" Tattoos are/can be very visually appeasing.. We remember those things, images we've kept in our heads.. Just like the bodies of the one's we love and what art is portrayed onto them..Whether it be a scar, a birthmark, or a tattoo (or several - which is better, ). |
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