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Teen Poetry #6

Bleeding.

exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2003-06-30 02:54 AM

my heart is wide open
bleeding in front of you
will you heal me?
will you put me back together?
i'm alone in this fight against myself
i keep tearing at myself
my heart if wide open
bleeding in front of you
can you heal me?
can you put me back together?
i hate what i've become
so emotional
emotions dont help anyone
my heart is wide open
bleeding in front of you
you wont heal me...
you wont put me back together...

..so kiss me hard cause this will be the last time that i let you...

ShadyMakaveli
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 128

1 posted 2003-06-30 01:16 PM

I for one, liked this, portrayed an excellent view point on vulnerbility, keep it up.

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

2 posted 2003-06-30 02:16 PM

I also liked this one, it was a different style than what I usually enjoy, but it was a very good poem

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-06-30 03:54 PM

Woah! Excellent poem, it flows nicely and all the words are in just the right place.
I can relate to this one well.
Well done.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2003-06-30 09:08 PM

I like how you go from hope to an honest realization that this person can't fix you. Very well done, I felt your pain as if it were my heart open and in the open.
~Lexy

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