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Teen Poetry #6

Weeks Now

Obsolete
Junior Member

since 2003-06-27

Posts 43

0 posted 2003-06-28 10:06 PM

Weeks now
I drew strength
Knowing I had all I needed
in this body I animate
The smile returned
the heart pumped blood
Yet you returned
fishing pole in hand
This time however
I won't take the bait
Now you'll be the one
growing hungry

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2003-06-29 12:22 PM

Yes! Beautiful! You are very quickly becoming someone for whom I will look out for! I love the way that you describe things

Keep writing, and I will definitely keep reading

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

2 posted 2003-06-29 03:54 AM

Excellent,excellent piece. I love the imagery you project.Very good writing.

-Erica-

Obsolete
Junior Member

since 2003-06-27

Posts 43

3 posted 2003-06-29 10:44 AM

Greatly appreciated, thank you.

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

4 posted 2003-06-29 05:52 PM

I know this is late, but WELCOME!

I absolutely loooooved the fishing metaphor in this - "taking the bait" and such...it worked perfectly.
You have such a creative way of expressing yourself. Excellent job.

~Kay~

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

5 posted 2003-06-29 11:27 PM

ooo, I really like this one!
Welcome to passions by the way!

Great job on this poem, especially the end!

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

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