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Teen Poetry #6
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PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2003-06-28 01:16 AM



Float (in me)

Underneath my outer particles
you thrive.
Soft, soft, softly you play
your tune.
As you flow through my
viens, my blood
your life support, you,
woman, you, woman,
yes you feel my twin.
Our hearts share something
no one else will ever
know. Ever know.
You and I and everyone
knows you can conjure
up, conjure up a
special silver bracelet,
but, my dear, you and I
know in my blood what
we share.
Continue. Continue your
floating.
In me. Floating.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (06-28-2003 01:17 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2003-06-28 01:29 AM


wow....this rocks...I love the feel of it, it's..it's....demanding...
BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
2 posted 2003-06-28 10:03 AM


whoa...that was cool. I'm not sure what to think of it. It made me think, so I guess that's a good thing...I dunno. Good write.

-Jen

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
3 posted 2003-06-28 07:58 PM


Ti, you're growing up, by the looks of your pic. Hmmm... Not sure I'm comfortable with that LMAO. *HUGS*
I don't think I've read this particular poem before, it doesn't seem familiar to me in any way. I do like it though, so it's all good
ps> email me

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
4 posted 2003-06-29 05:29 PM


I really enjoyed this...the overlapping of some of the lines added an interesting element to the flow. Very creative and impressive. Nice job.
~Kay~

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
5 posted 2003-08-06 08:39 PM


this poem was great..nade me think. i also liked the overlapping lines. nice touch

~bjw~

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~


Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
6 posted 2003-08-06 09:34 PM


Interesting style. In came in waves. Hot then cold. I liked it.

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