Teen Poetry #6 |
Over The Summer |
SimpleDiscourse Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79 |
Will we meet over the summer? I want to know you inside to out. Let me devour your fears and secrets. Will we fall over the summer? I want to press my smile against yours. Let me devour your body and soul. Will we end over the summer? I want to leave you crying and alone. Let me devour your heart and love. Will we meet over the summer? I hope so. My poetry..has not been so good lately. Mild writer's block, I suppose. What would you do if I could have you? |
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© Copyright 2003 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
a summer fling then? No need for breaking hearts though... that's just rough... (lol, teasing you) this is really good for having any kind of writer's block |
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Obsolete Junior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 43 |
Enjoyed it, well done. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Not bad for having writer's block, fellow poet. This is a fairly good write. I like the idea behind the piece, desiring some passionate yet ultimately forgetable love during the summer. I think though, to be honest, this is a good start. I'd work on it a bit more, carry it out a bit more, flesh it out if you can. It seems a bit too... brief. Hope you don't mind my thoughts. Late. Titus |
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snoduck Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99Selah, WA |
I agree with titus, a very nice piece but too short. Don't be afraid to edit. Oh and a very nice write for writer's block! -Erica- |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
Don't worry about writer's block...this poem was good. Keep up the good work! ~J.Lynn "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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