Don't Let Him Go There - pipTalk Forums

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PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2003-06-21 03:27 AM

Buring out before hes begun
its all about to hit to the fan
he can't be slipping now,
can he?
Oh no,
don't let him go there,
the pressures what he needs
let him be a man!
Be a damn man.
Push, get him going
strong and hard
He's signing up for them
US Marines,
but he's a softy.
He's now in college,
tassel's been flipped,
age now adult in number
he's eyeing a prize
but he's too blind to see it.

Oh no don't let him slow
don't let him disappoint
he can't do that now,
can he?

Wait.
Pause.
Hold on a second,
people.

Please won't you help
help me live,
let me let go
and live my life
before it passes me by.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2003-06-21 03:35 AM

Ti, wow... every time I read it, it gets better. I'm going to print it out, methinks... Still raw, still emotional, and still beautiful. *big hugs*
I'm proud of you

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2003-06-25 05:02 PM

An extremely interesting read Ti, not as good as some of your other stuff but still a wonderful write.

Andrew

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-06-25 07:58 PM

Haven't seen you around in a while! I've liked some of your others better but I loved the message this poem is sending. I've missed your writing I'm glad to see your back
~Live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection, for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

4 posted 2003-06-27 05:43 PM

There is something less processed and planned about this that I am liking. I think someone mentioned that it was "raw" and "emotional", which I would have to agree with. I think that the structure could have been different in order to benefit the impact, but that is just me I guess.

Memina

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2003-06-29 03:26 AM

Thanks, everyone.

Peace and love, and happiness.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."

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