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JenniX
Junior Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 29

0 posted 2003-06-12 10:55 AM

The darkness of the casket,
praises my death,
how great it would be,
to live in the fire of the darkness,
to rot in hell, thru death.
I will find my soul once I die,
but wish to reach heaven,
even though the golden gates,
block me out,
for I am not religious.
I shed quiet tears,
for my weeping family,
standing over my casket,
at my funeral of death.
Life celebrating death,
is a sad time,
but it is the passing,
of a saddened soul,
who searched for heaven,
but is pulled to hell,
for she is lost,
and will never be found,
sits in the casket,
six feet in the ground.

LegalSecret69
Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 69
Virginia

1 posted 2003-06-12 03:40 PM

Personally, I think this was a little bit scary and on the dark side. But it was deep..and you did a good job -Jess

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

2 posted 2003-06-12 05:24 PM

This was an awesome poem! Sad but great..I loved it!

"...Life celebrating death..."
That line is the best out of it all! Yep, this one is going into my library! Good job! ~Jess

"If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly." -Gustav Holst

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

3 posted 2003-06-12 10:03 PM

Good poem. Ya it was a little dark but it was good. Kinda a relizing piece for me since a friend of mine passed away a little bit ago. But, he reached those gates.

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

4 posted 2003-06-13 12:30 PM

man, jen. and you say you're not good...
l've read this one a couple times before, remember, and you've got a talent.. your word style is so different than mine... thats good, cause though l get a lot of replies, that doesn't mean l'm good.
so do me a favor, and keep writing, and if u really think u need to improve, re-read some of your writing with an objective eye... you'll find that it's got style, thought, depth, and most of all, interest..
you captured me with the first line, and held me till the end.
thanx, laurie.
luv ya.

JenniX
Junior Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 29

5 posted 2003-06-13 11:52 AM

wonderful comment ppls. Thanx for all the excellents and stuff..
Thanx again
Jenni

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