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Haze Of The Gun
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Haze Of The Gun |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"Haze Of The Gun" (12/10/02) Like a solite rock, you stand beside me, Through the darkest of the passing memories! Couldn't foresee a shoulder meant this much. Like mother needs child, I need your graceful touch! Sneaked through my backyard. All I could do was gaze! Was the Marlboro man, 'til you entered my space.... I was like poly, begging for krackers. Standing outside, restaurent "Dishes amourse". Singing all day long for a lousy buck, That reality of life really do suck....but! Now the future's ahead and the past is behind! The present, is no longer an eternal run! The bum living on the corner's gone forever! He's no longer sleeping in the haze of the gun!!!! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
You did it again! Everyone does it! Ending your poem by reciting the title... aarghhh...  Sorry, it's a pet peeve of mine... hehe... I did like most of this, Mister Egg. Particularily your use of exclaimation points to organize the tone. The story is also really neat, and was delightful to follow. A nice read. Thanks for sharing. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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