Painful Secret (please,please read)

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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-06-06 10:03 PM

I think this one is somewhat different from all my other's, but it's pretty self-explanatory why. Im not sure if I like it yet or not, but at least I got it out.

The cry in my heart is so loud
why can no one hear it?

Other's complain of their problems
cry about life's setbacks
I sit and listen quietly
I don't tell them why their problems are so petty
my pain cannot be shared.

So you have to wait for something a month or two,
people die everyday
can you hear the cries of those who loved them?
have you ever been close to someone, who tomorrow, might be taken away?
you cannot see how deep my river of suffering goes.

I have to bear this worry alone
I can only cry my tears when no one is looking
when all I want to do is scream at the world
that something so giving and beautiful,
may be dying.
Where will the light come from then?

So tell me about your problems,
I will listen.
tell me about what you want and why you want it now,
I will nod my head.
Cry,
I will offer you my shoulder,

I won't tell you that soon the world may be taken from under my feet
that I will have to continue on through the ashes
wailing and crying an ocean of burning tears,
but only when no one is looking.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

1 posted 2003-06-06 11:05 PM

This was an amazing write!

"I won't tell you that soon the world may be taken from under my feet
that I will have to continue on through the ashes
wailing and crying an ocean of burning tears,
but only when no one is looking."
That is by far my favorite stanza. Please keep up the great work. I always enjoy your writes. Hope all is well.
*Allison*

LegalSecret69
Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 69
Virginia

2 posted 2003-06-07 08:13 AM

Excellent work, this poem, I have to agree, was amazing.. "Secret"

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2003-06-07 08:24 AM

Yes, brilliant!! Charged with emotion, beautifully expressed

Wonderful write!
Luv, Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2003-06-07 11:37 AM

this is how i felt, (or close to it) when my Aunt passed away... it still hurts, I still haven't cried all the tears I have to cry, and damn...I miss her every day. So my point is, I feel your ache, and hope you are ok

SarBear
Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 205
Massachusetts

5 posted 2003-06-07 12:18 PM

I love it.
My grandmother,she passed away last night of cancer. I am going through the hardest time of my life at the moment. I watched her go from a healthy person to a weak person that couldnt even walk-i knew that at any second of any minute of any day she could die and it was so hard for me. The worst part is the story leading up to it. I think you should read my poem that is in Open Poetry number 26 its called Regrets. Read and make a comment. And hang in there ok? Its hard to let go.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2003-06-07 03:45 PM

Oh honey... this struck more than one chord in me, I don't know what to say about it. It's beautiful, emotional, and raw. The combination of the words you chose to express this left me speechless. i'm adding this one to my library, no doubt about that

email me if you need to talk, ok? I'm always always willing to listen to someone who needs to be heard

again

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

7 posted 2003-06-07 04:20 PM

this was great, but the only thing that bothered me was the please,please read pasted in title line. otherwise, this was awesome...

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

8 posted 2003-06-07 06:47 PM

Thank you all so much for your warm replies.
They mean so much.
Riley, sorry if that bothered you but this poem is very important to me and I haven't been getting many replies on my other works of late.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

9 posted 2003-06-11 09:11 PM

Wow. This is very powerful. I know how you feel when you said "have you ever been close to someone, who tomorrow, might be taken away?" I know. That's why I can't have long lasting relationships, I get scared that they will be taken away from me. It happens to me all the time, the closer I get to someone, and the more I start caring, something happens and they are POOF! Gone. I so know how you feel, girl. I'm here if ya ever need to talk. I'll listen. Even when you think I'm not, I am. I really liked this one, though. It sounds like me almost 100%. It just takes strength. Strength in numbers. I'm gonna put this piece into my library. It desrves it. Thanks for sharing, Steph. Pe@ce.

"Life is not measured by the moments we take,but by the moments that take our breaths away." -Author Unkown.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

10 posted 2003-06-11 10:31 PM

Right now I am practically speechless. I can't believe how great this poem was...! Honestly, I think was one of the best poems I've ever read. For some reason this poem just struck my emotions very strongly. Thank you for the read and this is going into my library! ~Jess

"If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly." -Gustav Holst

JenniX
Junior Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 29

11 posted 2003-06-12 11:00 AM

Awsome poem I luv your write. Hope ur okay. I know exactly how you feels. Listen to others but locking your secrets away burns holes in u. Kepp up the good work
Jenni

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

12 posted 2003-06-12 05:24 PM

I know what you mean about the "please please read." A lot of the old members left so I have gotten basically NO feedback whatsoever on my poems..Thats why I`m here so it is kind of upsetting.
*Allison*

monkey
Junior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 27

13 posted 2003-11-13 02:49 PM

awww. or actually yo dogg!

i really REALLY liked this one...when you said have you ever been close to someone who tomorrow might be taken away...kinda reminds me of the situation with matt...one day everythings perfect and the next seems like everythings gone. awesome poem, going to read more!

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