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Teen Poetry #6
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2003-06-05 11:10 PM


I thought I'd like to take a walk tonight
Underneath the tree leaves and the fireflies,
And maybe stop a while and try to find the stars I lost
Twice before, twelve years later.
I'd cross the tattered road and feel the headlights
Of a car nearby, approaching, then watching as it passed me by
Thinking

Those brake lights never looked so good

While never feeling so alone.

I wondered if I could fall any faster than I have before
While chasing echos of a heart discarded
By the garbage dump outside the city lights...

Staring through the blinds at the streetlight
Looking like I did last winter
I skipped through all the pages that I wrote
When I was lost somewhere between 17th and 45th.
The recipient of a thousand stares
A thousand loves
A thousand broken bottles on the street
I thought I'd like to take a walk, instead,

Through the sky with curtains.

* * * * * * * * * *
Expected response: "I don't get it."
Expected answer: "Neither do I."

It all makes perfect sense, but I'd like to know how you guys see it.  

-Leah

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (06-05-2003 11:12 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2003-06-05 11:17 PM


sounds like, to me, that you are looking inward, reflecting on things...life...you about growing up and leaving things behind, you wish you didn't have to, but remembering some things, you'd like to leave behind, you just aren't sure how to....

ta-da! my take on it LOL I liked it no matter what way what ever,ya know?

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
2 posted 2003-06-07 12:24 PM


Sometimes you don't have to get it to feel it. And I feel it. So I like it.

-Lioness

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
3 posted 2003-06-07 06:59 PM


Just like 'lioness said. I felt this one, very beautiful poem. I love to walk at night.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
4 posted 2003-06-07 08:32 PM


beautiful poem!!!!  Things are so peaceful at night and its great to take nightly walks-time to reflect.
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2003-06-11 11:12 AM


Leah - a usual answer from you, huh?

It seems to me like this poem is just quiet contemplation on an early morn (but maybe that's just becuase I just finished replying to Lizzy's poem... ). It seems like you might be looking through old journals you have written because you give hints to that:

Twice before, twelve years later.
I wondered if I could fall any faster than I have before

and
I skipped through all the pages that I wrote
When I was lost somewhere between 17th and 45th.


I also loved the image of the break lights passing you by and metioning how alone you feel... as if the world seems to pass you by, and while things are good right now, they're only good you you. It seems like you don't have anyone to share this with.

This is an awesome poem.  I like the ones that are ambiguous and are able to mean multiple things. It leaves it up to the reader... although I know you had a specific thought in mind when putting this to paper.

Awesome job, Leah. This is beautiful.

Yours,
Marie

"You can be idealistic for all of ten seconds before you die." (Imitation of Life)

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