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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-11 07:28 PM

living for the adreniline*
washing in and out of my system
for the sunsets in early morning
coloring the sky with magnificent views
flying for the wind on my face
blowing my hair out of my way
running for the sweat pouring off me
the joy of winning everytime
kicking for the strength involved
screaming at the top of my lungs
singing for the voice ringing out
the bright lights murdreously rolling on me
playing for the love of the game
shooting every shot with such precision
calling out for intensity
flushing at the cored watch
living life for the rush
of fullest adventures flying at me
relentlessly falling
right back up
and living for the adreniline* again and again

*=Sp?

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

[This message has been edited by Riley (10-11-2002 08:15 PM).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2002-10-11 07:35 PM

Sounds like some sort of sport. I used to be the athletic type, I know about adrenaline (this is how you spell it

)
I liked the poem. It brought back some memories. Very well done.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-10-11 07:45 PM

Good job on this one

I think it would have worked better with a bit of punctuation (MHO), but it's still good and I love the imagry I got

Reminded me of sports day at elementary school

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

3 posted 2002-10-11 10:33 PM

I was at the olympic stade, yesterday and it reminded me of the swimming race i was in..the images of lights and the senses add a great deal to the poem.

Regina

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-10-12 12:23 PM

I agree with Skyfire... this lacks your usual cadence, and I think that punctuation could really perk that up.

Otherwise, a great answer to my question.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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