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Surreal
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Surreal |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE 
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Feeling lost within myself... So many things I thought true Turned out to be cruel illusions No feeling to them No remorse for the hurt they brought Nothing... Nothing at all... At one time I felt I belonged I was no longer lonely, searching I felt I had someone there But now, while I lay in bed I reach for the spot that you used to sleep And only feel the ruffled sheet Underneath my fingertips...* "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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| © Copyright 2003 J.Lynn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Hey I really like this, dunno how it sunk so low with no replies. This was one I read in my reading but no replying spates, so now I've found it again to reply to  I love the imagery, very intense, specially the second stanza, with the ruffled sheets beneath the fingertips or whatever it was. It was very short but said all that needed to be said...verrrrrry clever! You convey the feeling of aching for something to be there very well for me Thanks for sharing, Luv Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
I really liked this poem, very good work.. sweet & heartfelt "Turned out to be cruel illusions No feeling to them No remorse for the hurt they brought Nothing... Nothing at all..." These lines particularly struck a chord with me, and this particularl feeling is rarely ever covered in poetry... when a relationship falls apart it sometimes feels like we've been "duped" into believing things were real that were merely illusions. It's that whole painful "the world is crumbling" feeling and you've expressed it wonderfully. good work! -matt |
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