Teen Poetry #6 |
In Your Heart |
blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
The night is dark and quiet And you seem far away Sometimes I am so afraid When your focus seems to stray And when I try to catch your eyes And you're not looking back at me But somewhere in the distance I can't see And every time I see you Do you know how much it hurts To have to let you go again And try to hold you with my words? My time is slowly running out For what I have to say And maybe if I speak right now You won't turn away If you ever need a friend To help you through the pain Just need someone to hold your hand Make the monsters run away If you're ever feeling lonely Hurt and set apart I'm right here beside you Always in your heart 'Though you may forget Turn away and hide I promise to never leave you I'll be by your side And someday if you'll let me I'll tell you the truth And maybe you will love me back As much as I love you |
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© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
FlyingCloud Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151A little place inside my head |
I like the way this is done. It expresses a feeling of companionship that is needed in this world in order to make it through the darkest times. ^~^If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us least live so as to deserve it.~*~ |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I really liked this a lot. I can relate. Good job, and thanks for your replies on my own poems too. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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snoduck Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99Selah, WA |
Spine Grinder took the words right out of my mouth... it's a very nice piece... thanks for sharing!!!!! -Erica- |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
soooo good. Good point and good way of saying it. How do you do it!? haha I like I like... and how did you pick your username? |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Laura, this is really beautiful. Doesn't everyone need a person like that? Very well done! ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
Wow... okay, I'm feeling really good about myself right now. I needed that... thanks, you guys. My username... my semi-boyfriend (it's a LOONNNNG story) calls me "lioness" (another long story), and I have blue eyes. So I put it all together and got... blueyedlioness! As for how I write... I actually don't like a lot of it very much. That's sort of why I came here - to get other people's opinions on my stuff. I suppose it's kind of just what happens when I get mad or upset or happy or mushy-lovey or whatever enough to want to somehow... tell the world, ya know? Okay... long post... sorry, y'all... Thanks for the replies. -Lioness |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I'm in a situation right now that relates a lot to the feelings and emotions put into this poem. It's as if this was pulled from the strings of my soul, so you can imagine that I like it a great deal! Nice work, enjoyable read ~Live and Laugh~ Always strive for excellence never perfection. |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
I liked this one alot. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This completely describes how I feel about a friend of mine. Maybe someday I'll have the guts to tell him how I feel...Anyway good write, thanks for the read. Jenni There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I love how this is written, Laura... it's very sweet, the formatting is clever but doesn't make it too lyric... very appropriate for the subject matter of the poem. Sounds like something you'd read in a card... I hope you gave this to whoever it was written for, it's very sweet. Nicely done. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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