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Teen Poetry #6

always

dani
Junior Member

since 2003-05-10

Posts 46

0 posted 2003-05-10 05:53 AM

always living
never giving
always crying
never dieing
always hiding
never finding
always seeing
never being
always grieving
never believeing
always kidding never to be fooled
what is wrong with this accursed world

i'll live a lie until i die or until you work out why

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

1 posted 2003-05-10 11:45 AM

This was a very unique poem. You may have a few spelling mistakes...but other than that, I like the idea. Very nice.

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2003-05-10 12:21 PM

Sometimes that much rhyming makes a poem sound too forced, but it really worked in this poem. Good write.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2003-05-15 01:34 PM

Yeah, I think that sometimes too.

Way to express your emotions... hang in there.

--Marie

"You can be idealistic for all of ten seconds before you die." (Imitation of Life)

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

4 posted 2003-05-15 01:56 PM

nice little rant...

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

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