Serenade of Grief - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-05-10 02:30 AM

Lay my head down on the pillow and sigh,
I can find no more tears to cry.
no one can see the things Im hiding inside
I'd rather have tears than this numbing pain.

The music softly plays the strings of my heart
the tune an echo of my suffering
how much longer can I lay staring at the ceiling
wishing for something other than this empty feeling?

I have to keep my mind occupied
to keep my thoughts from turning dark again
I've been alone for too long
and no one knows this battle Im fighting.

Tomorrow it seems, will never come
I wish I could say it will be better.
The night is full of despair
and the stars reflect only more darkness into my eyes.

Falling finally into the warm embrace of sleep
where for awhile I can forget who I am
I'll be disappointed in the morning when I wake
to find that happiness was just a dream.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

1 posted 2003-05-10 11:48 AM

"Falling finally into the warm embrace of sleep
where for awhile I can forget who I am
I'll be disappointed in the morning when I wake
to find that happiness was just a dream."

...Beautiful stanza. In fact, the whole thing was very good. I was just a little confused...the rhyming scheme was a little inconsistant. But other than that, beautiful poem. I enjoy all of your work...and this only adds to my favorites! Nice job!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-05-10 12:10 PM

Thank you for your warm reply,
actually there is no rhyming scheme, the first 2 lines only rhyme by accident and I didnn't want to change them.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-05-10 12:19 PM

This is really good, I can really relate. Thanks for the read.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

4 posted 2003-05-10 04:32 PM

I like a free verse poem with the occasional rhyme and I loved this poem...as sad as it was, it was so easy to read....great job.

Jeremy

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2003-05-10 11:21 PM

Sorry for disappearing like that, but I'm back now, until I leave again... lol

I heard from kirah that you asked 'bout me, so I figured I'd leave you a reply or something, before I post and then hit the sack, lol. Glad to see in a world of inconsistancies, the quality of you're poems isn't one of them; it just keeps getting better and better! I can relate to this one very well, as it describes me up until the events in the poem I post tonight. I loved it lots! WEll, I'll hopefully be seein' you around! Later!

-Rich

Too strong to give up, to weak to move on....

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (05-10-2003 11:22 PM).]

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

6 posted 2003-05-11 01:11 AM

Wow..just wow. Haha! I really liked this, and I can relate to this poem very easily. Mmm..Great write! ~Jess

"What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly."

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

7 posted 2003-05-11 02:23 PM

Awesome job of putting into words what I think a lot of us feel. Sleep really is the only escape sometimes... and even it's not always good enough. *sigh*

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

8 posted 2003-05-15 10:35 PM

I love my icon..<---no. 1...Number 2...I'm going away to Penn!! (school trip)!...I think there was a third ah yes, your poem. Darling friend of mine, i know all to well how you feel! I've been there. In fact, i just came from there not that long ago. im here for ya! you know my email address, EMAIL ME! I may not get back to you asap, but I will try! i do my best! I'm quite busy now actually...But Steph, PLEASE talk to me, I hear your pain, i know the pain...please...dont do what i did...i dont know you know you, but I know you enough to say that I care for you as I do my own friends that i live around 24/7. God help me with that..no wonder why Im insane..but im here whenever! Alright? I liked your poem nontheless though. I like all your work. Peace! you'll do fine. just please, dont do what i did. ~*~Kirah~*~

Your companions are like the buttons on an elevator, they will either take you up or they will take you down.

"Life is not measured by the moments

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

9 posted 2003-05-16 12:34 PM

very well done i loved it thanks for the read.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

10 posted 2003-06-24 03:12 PM

This is a great poem, 'though it is very sad. In response to your note, I'm sorry that you lost a friend so dear to you. I know how hard it can be. Anyhoo, I hope you have a spiffy day!
~Angela

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

11 posted 2003-06-24 05:47 PM

Wow....I liked this so much. It so describes my life. Great job.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

12 posted 2003-06-25 12:57 PM

Sad...lonesome...and Hauntingly beautiful, I think this is one of my favorites from you in a long time. I loved that while it was free verse it still flowed, sometimes they can get a little choppy but this one was just the opposite, like silk, sleek and smooth. Empathy on the insperation to the poem.
~Live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection, for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.