Uhhhhh....don't know of a tilte

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Teen Poetry #6

Uhhhhh....don't know of a tilte

Eminem wanna be
Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 52
Windsor, Missouri

0 posted 2003-05-05 11:25 PM

I'm all messed up right now
things are going wrong
and i don't know how

My lil cuz lost her virginity at 13
I'm pissed at her
but should i be so mean?

My friend kayle
is having family problems
things that happen daily

Then I got my own issue
that cant be helped by them
"What do I do?"

I try to help my girls
and they try to help me
as our short life twirls....

I started drinkin when I was 12 years old
to calm me down
to keep that hold

Kayle's blammed for being chooked
DFS don't giva a ****
they'd rather hear she croaked

adults say we're important in this world
but its all lies
we all get hurled

"Where do we stand
if we're important?"
Teacher says shut up and gives the hand.......

I'm just getting thoughts out....the flow on this is wack but you know how it is when your emotions are all messed up....

You can do anything you set your mind to man--EMIN3M
R.I.P.-Zandon R. Maddix 10-3-80 to 10-5-02

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

1 posted 2003-05-05 11:29 PM

yeah the rhyme scheme is a little "wacked" but I think it adds to the poem. I can feel the emotions all the way through...good write.

oh and for a title...maybe Crazy Life...idk i'm not good with titles.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

[This message has been edited by BrokenDreams (05-05-2003 11:31 PM).]

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

2 posted 2003-05-05 11:39 PM

it's ok let them emmotions out however you gotta do it. good poem.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

Eminem wanna be
Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 52
Windsor, Missouri

3 posted 2003-05-06 05:49 PM

thanks guys

You can do anything you set your mind to man--EMIN3M
R.I.P.-Zandon R. Maddix 10-3-80 to 10-5-02

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

4 posted 2003-05-06 07:42 PM

I know what you mean... I like the ideas in the poem... I know how it is... Life as a teenager... Things can be so out of control, and confusing... But the wording and rhyme in this poem could be better... but like you said, it's hard sometimes to put your complex thoughts into words when your "emotions are all messed up." I can really relate to this...

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