Bleached - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-05-03 11:02 PM

I want to scream,
but nothing would be loud enough
for you to feel my pain.

This sadness is trying to consume me
this sorrow wants to swallow me whole
this darness that's so blinding
is all I see down every road.

The day is bleak
and the sun refuses to show,
tomorrow will be darker.

Gray clouds are gathering in my eyes
I don't want to be here.
I need to feel something other than this emptiness and pain
Will the world ever return to it's former color?

I can't escape from my prison of hurt
when did I lose hold on hope
to sink into despair?

Nothing can console me
or pull me from this quicksand
I fell in too fast, blind to the path ahead
and now Im afraid that I will never leave this bleached world.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2003-05-07 02:09 AM

This was just sitting here with no replies for a long time,

and I want this poem to be read because it's very important to me.
So any replies would be welcome.
Thanks

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

2 posted 2003-05-07 04:42 PM

"Gray clouds are gathering in my eyes" My favorite line. Simply beautiful. Peace!
~*~Kiki~*~

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

3 posted 2003-05-07 05:53 PM

This is a great and sad write all in one. I hope this gets more replies, because it deserves them.

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2003-05-07 06:10 PM

Thank you so very much, Im glad you think that it deserves more replies.
Just reading it and saying anything helps me feel better.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

5 posted 2003-05-07 09:51 PM

I really, really like that. I don't usually especially like peices without a certain rhyme and rhythm, but that gets across the feeling so well, it doesn't need it. Awesome job on putting emotion into your writing.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

6 posted 2003-05-07 10:39 PM

I like it!! And it does deserve more replies. Excellent job with putting your emotions into it without sounding like your whining. If it was put up for the book, I'd vote for it.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

7 posted 2003-05-08 12:44 PM

Hey hun. From my last poem you can probably see how well I can relate to this! I'm sorry that you have to go through that kind of pain..sigh...It just hurts so much sometimes it's like what's the point? But it was beautifully written and very heart felt
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.