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Teen Poetry #6

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FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

0 posted 2003-04-30 06:11 PM

Ever since I could remember,
From my childhood to old age.
There was this pale flower,
My mom kept in Bible pages.

Song of Solomon, chapter 2,
Is the place that I'd look.
Caught once, my vision,
Curious about the lily in the book.

It wasn't very pretty,
Some petals had fallen off.
But my mom had loved it,
More than well enough.

My father, I learned,
Died in war, well before birth.
It was his final gift to her,
That untamed beauty of Earth.

My mom told me, he loved her,
More than he loved life,
And before they could take the vow,
His heart had met the knife.

And so my mother kept,
That old, ugly, untamed,
Lily; until she slept forever,
Mayhap they shall meet again.
And part again, never.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

[This message has been edited by FlyingCloud (04-30-2003 06:39 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cloud Girl - All Rights Reserved

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

1 posted 2003-04-30 06:34 PM

absolutly beatiful...such a nice story and sentiment and written perfectly for it's meaning...loved it...should've been a book submission.

Jeremy

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

a_little_girl
Member

since 2000-05-08

Posts 307
San Alejandro, HI, USA

2 posted 2003-04-30 07:14 PM

*sniffles* A wonderful work...

**No weapon will pierce my heart, no hand will be raised to harm me as long as I write.**
~a_little_girl

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

3 posted 2003-05-02 10:43 AM

Perhaps they shall meet again.

Touching write.

Sunkissed.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

4 posted 2003-05-02 11:49 AM

That is really good! It brought tears to my eyes.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

5 posted 2003-05-02 05:51 PM

Thank you for all of your replies! I will try to reply to some of your poems too!

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

6 posted 2003-05-03 06:45 PM

It's very different... nice job.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

7 posted 2003-05-03 11:20 PM

Very powerful piece!

I was really touched by this one.
My vote, I hope it gets into the book!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

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