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Buried within
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Buried within |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
The other night, I was sitting trying to write something, and NOTHING was coming to mind. I finally gave up, and a couple of hours later, I literally had to run and grab my notebook and write this down. Once clear blue eyes Now fog with tears Hide the pain Forget the fear Until at night When all alone Ghosts within your memory groan Once innocent face Now wrought with years Hide the pain Forget the fear Until one day Returns the hate Perhaps this past is now my fate Once hopeful thoughts That now don't care Hide the pain Forget the fear Can't ever leave Can't ever stay I've got to run. To get away. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
aahhh...it seems you've reached a point in life where your past is no long and integral part of your present and a mere ghost which haunts it...this means that it time to take strides toward the future, thus creating a new past...good luck and keep writing, it's good stuff. Jeremy Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love. |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Ooooo, this was good! hehe  How you had to run and get your notebook, that's how all my writing is! Isn't it amazing? I'd put up my favorite part but I liked all of it! Good write! ~Jess  "What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly." |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oooh I do like this. I have one critique though and that would be to change "Once clear blue eyes Now fog with tears" to "Once clear blue eyes Now fogged with tears" Other than that I really enjoyed this piece Good job!Life may be hard, but it's your attitude that determines your happieness |
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