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Teen Poetry #6
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blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-07-05 01:41 PM



Crystal raindrops on my heart
Falling from the starless sky
Dripping down my face and mixing
With the tears I cannot cry

Crystal melodies surround me
Quivers only I can hear
In the silence is my music
Made by someone else's tears

Crystal thoughts are slowly falling
Like the raindrops in my mind
Searching every stranger's eyes
None the one I need to find

Crystal hearts are softly breaking
Shattering deep within their hurt
Pieces scattered by the careless
All they have left is their words

Crystal echoes leave no memory
Only a slight familiar ring
Of the melodies made by raindrops
Long forgotten they could sing

© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved
Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
1 posted 2003-07-05 01:54 PM


"Crystal echoes leave no memory
Only a slight familiar ring
Of the melodies made by raindrops
Long forgotten they could sing"


Beautiful... absolutely beautiful. You're a great writer. Have I told you that, yet? Anyhoo, have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

2 posted 2003-07-05 05:51 PM


wow.  excellent work.  you seem to express everything beautifully.  something i wish i could do.
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
3 posted 2003-07-05 06:07 PM


Phew I'm glad I finally got a chance to read this one Great work, your formatting is perfect, the rhyming scheme is great, and the rythm is better than I've been able to do in a while (and I used to be the queen of rythm hehe). Anyway, this is definitely good, I like the way you stuck "crystal" in every stanza. Awesome!!

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
4 posted 2003-07-06 09:03 PM


Ahh yes...I read this the other day and I swore I replied because I stuck it in my library but I guess I forgot to leave a lil' note telling you how much I adore this piece. I especailly like the contrasting of "crystal raindrops" those two words you just wouldn't think of together and yet you make them work so perfectly. I love the second stanza it's my favorite.
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
5 posted 2003-07-07 01:34 AM


I'm definitely putting this in my library...it was so beautiful and the flow was absolutely perfect. Thanks for the awesome read. You have such a talent.
~Kay

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
6 posted 2003-07-07 01:37 AM


...Probably works better if I actually check the library thread box
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

7 posted 2003-07-07 12:00 PM


W
O
W
!

That's pretty much all I ever have to say about your stuff.  I really, really like this.

~cassi

zenny
Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371
Belgium
8 posted 2003-11-09 03:20 PM


library!!
love it

misao
Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 50

9 posted 2003-11-09 07:19 PM


Now Im inspired to write a new poem. I didnt feel like writing one but now I do!!! Keep up the good work!
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