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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2003-04-24 10:25 AM

Fit of Rage

Smiles, she
dials the numbers and
waits and wants in silence,
smiles fade to snails,
happiness in a mud puddle
but she can't see her reflection in it.
Stained glass windows streak
color across her face,
hiding the imperfection
as she marches slowly
through the motions of this
so-called common everyday life.
Am I pretty, she mumbles
only it comes out as a comment
instead of a question
one she never could seem to answer
and won't let anyone else answer for her
they tell her what she doesn't want to hear.
Invisibility in a bag of Sour Skittles
and she's addicted
to every smell, every smile, every memory
she hugs them closely to her heart
now located on the outside
of her rib cage, separated from everything,
at least, all the important things.
And two lovers sit on a couch
wondering how things changed
before they even opened their eyes
the world is different now and
nothing they say can change it back
to the way it was before as she
smiles, she
dials the numbers and
waits, wanting in noise
inhaling the silence and
harboring it inside of her until
she fills up with air and explodes.

"Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns."~Anon.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

1 posted 2003-04-24 12:15 PM

I like it a lot! I felt the emotionsd throughout the whole thing
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

2 posted 2003-04-24 01:08 PM

It's a very emotive poem. you can undoubtedly feel the emotion strongly. And very applicable to other people feel. I feel that way sometimes. It's very good.

~Keep dreaming~

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

3 posted 2003-04-26 05:47 PM

I'm about to explode on this girl I know. And the part you described two lovers on a couch, sounds about right. sigh, This was good.

I'm wondering about the skittles though? any significance in them being part of the poem?

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

4 posted 2003-04-26 06:18 PM

I liked this a lot, fragmented broken images that sort of fit.
I LOVE sour skittles.

Great job.

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-04-26 08:35 PM

inhaling silence...I loed that line. liked the part about the two lovers on the couch and stating, am I pretty, very good, I enjoy your style.
~Lexy

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

6 posted 2003-04-27 12:24 PM

I like this poem alot, especially the line, "but she can't see her reflection in it."
Well done!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

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