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Starsfalling
Member

since 2003-03-18

Posts 94
some where deep in the shadows

0 posted 2003-04-23 12:15 PM

defeated by my own mind
all these games,
and all these tricks
to hell with them,
and to hell with me..
for thats where i'll surely go,
i've got only myself to blame,
the eternal martyr..
i could fix any problem,
no matter how much pain i face,
for being indifferent is the greatest evil,
and that is one thing i shall never be..
look in my eyes,
i carry a sorrow not even a man whos buried his son has,
there is no ending to my despair..
it forms me, just as any good cloak should
i wrap it tightly, in fear others might notice
never shall i sit idle...
always must i help, till that one day
that someone helps me, and lifts my burden
but that is a long way off... if it ever comes to pass

meh its kinda scetchy but oh well
-lance

There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

1 posted 2003-04-23 11:17 AM

your infinate sorrow is truly temporary and the hole that you're digging yourself doesn't have to get any deeper...just put down the shovel and start climbing out. Someone will take notice of your efforts and toss you a rope. liked some of the metaphors in this one...good stuff.

J.H.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-04-23 02:45 PM

VERY good poem,
I really love this one,
I can feel the emotions you put into it.
I really love the first line.
Well done.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-04-23 04:31 PM

Very good poem. I felt it the whole way through. Great write.

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-04-23 08:40 PM

Same as Silent Tears. Great job, I really liked this one. ~Jess

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."

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