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-Untiltled-
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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-Untiltled- |
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Android 18 Member
since 2002-02-20
Posts 61Austrailia (My DreamLand) |
Hearing you would leave me, brought me down to one knee. You are the one I need, our love is but a seed. There's still time inbetween, the blade of this news is keen. I've always had so many fears, has always caused endless tears. With this distance will be grow apart, our life together never to start? Will you come back into my life, and one day I'll be your wife? My preference is the latter, you should know in my life you matter. I'll be here waiting for you, I just hope this comes true. Can't say it's one of my best ones.... I've written others before this, they're similar in nature because they're about the same person. As with a previous poem of mine. I didn't know what to name this poem, so it will remain untitled until I find a name. "I'm Baaaack... Better Than Ever!!" |
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| © Copyright 2003 Serena E. Bauer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SixtiesChick03 Junior Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 49NV |
That was a really good poem..i can totally relate to that right now...keep up the good work!! |
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punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
it was ok i thought. i seen better from you tho. keep it up  robin hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men! |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
The ONLY thing I didn't like about this, was the 4-line rhyming sceme. I unno, just...for some reason---it didn't sit right with me. Other than that, it wasn't too bad! The world is good, and nothing bad ever happens! |
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FlyingCloud Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151A little place inside my head |
This poem doesn't necessarily need a title. I think that the rhyming couplets are very good! Love it! ^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^ |
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Android 18 Member
since 2002-02-20
Posts 61Austrailia (My DreamLand) |
Thanks everyone for your replies! I wasn't too happy with this... I've been trying to write a poem with a specific meaning to it, this is only half of what I want to say. "The best trick in basketball is putting the ball in the hoop, but if you bring the hoop down with you, I'll give you a cookie." |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Well, as we all know...the only way to get better is to practise and work on your faults! Now, finding your own faults is half the fun! The world is good, and nothing bad ever happens! |
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