Sanguine streams began to flow

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Teen Poetry #6

Sanguine streams began to flow

Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

0 posted 2003-04-22 06:24 PM

Warm sanguine streams began to flow
as the numbing pain commenced
flashing images of my sorrow
built up over the years, condensed
as I carved a fiery line across my wrist in one fluid motion
to serve as evidence of my existence
I left behind a lifeless body resting in a crimson ocean

vashthestampede
New Member

since 2003-05-03

Posts 9

1 posted 2003-05-03 11:03 PM

Wonderful work!!!!!
excellent use of words.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-05-03 11:27 PM

Wow, very strong piece,
the last two lines especially!
Well done!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

3 posted 2003-05-03 11:47 PM

This poem. It comes to the edge without going over. I feel tears coming to my eyes, as one of my classmates commited suicide earlier this year.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-05-04 01:23 PM

Short and sweet! I REALLY like this one. Great write! ~Jess

"What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly."

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

5 posted 2003-05-04 04:56 PM

Paragon-

Your use of words and imagery really brought out the strength in this piece. Very effective. Unlike most poems, this one was shorter in length, but you still provided such a haunting tone and image. I don't have anything to say about this except "Wow." Yes, it was THAT good. Keep up the awesome writing!

Leah

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