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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2003-04-22 09:51 AM

With a snap of my fingers and a flick of my wrist
Darkness falls over the sickeningly hushed crowd
Spiders composed of a symphony of shadows
Crawl on people’s faces from the slotted windows above
The fresh scent of flowers and rotting bodies
Rush into the room.
The smell is so horrid that even
The Bell Tower Apparitions vomit against their will
Knives dangle by fraying threads above everyone's head
The door in the back of the hall creeks open
And in gushes an air so cold...
Your feet freeze to the ground
With another flick and snap
Every person's nightmare comes alive
But you can't run, you're stuck to the ground
There is silence in the hall
I just hate it when they scream
It does no good, so I stole their useless voices.
With that final flick and twist
Dip and dive...
The darkness fades out
Feet unfreeze with a warm desert sand blast
Voices return, with aching sore throats
But memories are kept from then
Recorded onto video, and DVD to keep in my private library.
I do this for fun, I love fear,
People are never hurt...
Too much.
But no one may remember
The Hall In Mind.

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

1 posted 2003-04-22 02:41 PM

Unusual style. It reminded me of a nightmare I had when I was a little girl. I really can't say much else about it besides that I like it. I think you took my voice as well with one of your snaps and flicks. The feeling of terror is conveyed very well. I still can't get over your style of writting. So different, thats why I like it.

Read my work and read my thoughts
I'll go back into the night now
---Night Angel

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

2 posted 2003-04-22 03:18 PM

what exactly was happening here, I can't be sure of...but whatever it was, I wouldn't want to be any part of it. Had the detail not been so vivid, I probably wouldn't feel the same way, but it was and that's the sign of a great poem.

J.D.H.

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2003-04-22 04:05 PM

Great imagery! I loved this..dark but good! ~Jess

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."

newguy04
Junior Member

since 2003-04-23

Posts 17
ohio

4 posted 2003-04-23 06:45 PM

I like it. Its deep and its flowing. One of your best ones yet

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

5 posted 2003-04-24 08:33 PM

Wow....difently on the nighmare-ish (if thats a word) side. I totally liked this. Very descriptive. awesome job. got my vote.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

6 posted 2003-04-24 10:52 PM

This was very good. It has my vote. I like nightmares actually and this reminds me of one I've had.

ex animo,
Aaron

IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

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