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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2002-10-07 04:53 AM

Jonesing on Love

clash of thought
whisky Burns the throat
Pulse beats so slowly
yet it still remains a blur

gulp of strongest Drug
smell of missing Love
just pour Another shot
drown in minted Memory

Drunk enough to know
then all is forgotten
tease of lost Peppermint
Can't go back to childhood

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (10-07-2002 04:54 AM).]

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

1 posted 2002-10-07 08:03 AM

i hink this was o.k. but i cant exactly get in to the whole sway of it!!

*$*Chloey*$*

You can fall from the sky,
You can fall from a tree,but,
The best way to fall is in love with me

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-10-07 11:45 PM

I love the way you stuck a reference to a drink in every stanza! (Granted, I love anything to do with liquor

) I don't know, this just really worked for me

A toque IS a hat! And I have one!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-09 03:25 PM

I like how important the title is... it's definitely a great idea to stress the importance of title. I like how you tend to do that rather easily.

This poem is without a lot of really creative image writing, but I'm certain you did that purposefully to aid your bitter, upset subject matter. Great work on consistency of tone in this piece.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2002-10-13 11:01 PM

Beautiful. Wow, Tiff, smashing.

Wonderful word choice(s).... the poem seemed to have the attitude of flipping the bird, but longing for what won't be again, burn the pain away, but failing to have the attitude of try try try again. Smashing.

Sincerely,
Titus

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

(2002 Copyright)

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2002-10-13 11:02 PM

I can't figure out what the Peppermint is symbalistic of, or if in fact it's just a peppermint, and if it is, how that fits into the scope of the poem as a whole.

Sincerely,
Titus

clumsy
Member

since 2002-10-10

Posts 106
canada.

6 posted 2002-10-13 11:55 PM

i thought it was okay anyways, better then what I'M writing now.:P

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2002-10-14 01:33 AM

I liked this poem a lot. Especially the ending. But seriously, this poem was great in every way. very high quality poem.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

8 posted 2002-10-14 08:37 PM

Thanks for all the feed back guys. It's much appreciated.

Ti, for me the smell and taste of peppermint is something I associate with my childhood. My parents for the most part. So 'Minted memory' and the other mentionings of peppermint is related to that.

Glad ya liked it dear.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

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