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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-16 05:31 PM

You

When the waters ride so slow,
and the heavens ache
for more.

When the clouds grow weary of their burdon
and dissapate
for the true sky.

As this untouchable perfect
becomes everything-
we dance.

Beauty mocks herself in shame.
For on this perfect day,
she has seen
you.

Jeremy David Halstead

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-04-16 06:27 PM

I think this is lovely Jeremy. A simple devotion and appreciation. I vote yes.

(you may want to correct some spelling tho...just a hint...

)

Honey
Member

since 2001-10-09

Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada

2 posted 2003-04-17 12:40 PM

wow your awesome buddy i almost want to be you "pretend girlfriend" so you can write that stuff for me lol keep up the good work

It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In.

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest!!

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-04-19 03:36 PM

Really beautiful poem...Add another to your vote total. Absolutely beautiful.

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

tornskirt
Member

since 2003-03-30

Posts 87

4 posted 2003-04-19 08:25 PM

amazing! you write beautifully, keep sharing with us!

never leave the light on if you don't want to be found

*Dark Princess*
Junior Member

since 2003-04-13

Posts 22
lost in the shadows

5 posted 2003-04-22 10:06 PM

I really like all your work...Keep it up.....Jess

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

6 posted 2003-04-23 02:47 PM

Beautiful poem!!! WOW.
I really love the last two lines,
they end the poem perfectly.
My vote on this one, hope you get into the book!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

7 posted 2003-04-23 04:33 PM

Jeremy, this is my first time reading any of your work and I am simply appauled by it. I think I might just keep it for a while...I liked it all, esp. the last stanza...*Tear* Hehe. Talk to you later...I a am going to read more poem n maybe post another...~*~Kirah~*~

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

8 posted 2003-04-26 11:12 AM

oh so beautiful!!! made me kinda cry a little man just a wonderful poem hun!
robin

i am who i am and that's all that i am and all i shall ever be and if you don't like who i am then leave!

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

9 posted 2003-04-26 03:05 PM

Ooooh...

I usually don't like free verse, but that was really well-written. I DEFINITELY love that. Yep, yep...

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

10 posted 2003-04-30 02:42 PM

Great Job!!!! I absolutely love it! Y'know if I had a boyfriend I would hope that he be like that. That is a wonderful poem. I like it. I hope you keep writing such moving poems.

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

11 posted 2003-04-30 05:16 PM

I fell in love with this poem when I first read it.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

12 posted 2003-04-30 05:19 PM

I don't know if "yumm" has an application to poetry -- but if it does, this is what it's all about!!!

AMAZING.
got my vote

-othersideofthemirror

Eminem wanna be
Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 52
Windsor, Missouri

13 posted 2003-04-30 11:33 PM

helloooooo wow...that was really good...lol

You can do anything you set your mind to man--EMIN3M
R.I.P.-Zandon R. Maddix 10-3-80 to 10-5-02

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

14 posted 2003-05-02 10:44 AM

Definitely book worthy.

Sunkissed.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

15 posted 2003-05-09 05:14 PM

I feel so mushy today..damn you...lol jk..I most definately vote...gorgeous as always did I mention how much I've missed you, I'm like your biggest fan so when you grow up and become famous will you still love me!?

Lotsa Love,
Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

16 posted 2003-05-09 09:33 PM

This is simply beautiful. Normally free verse doesn't really thrill me but this is really really good. You have a way with words that's just...I don't even know how to describe it...amazing poem it has my vote and I hope it makes it into the book.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

MissKlarmic
Member

since 2003-02-20

Posts 70
Canada,N.S

17 posted 2003-05-20 10:30 PM

Simple is the word, lovely would describe yours.

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