The Truth Outside - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-16 04:19 PM

This my first new poem in at least a year, so be gentle, but be honest...thnx

The Truth Outside

I stare serenly through
my living room door.
I see how sunshine still beats there
just as before.
The flag outside my window
boasts in the wind,
while that kid on the street
still laughs with his friend.
I always had said
that if you should leave,
the world would stop
and sacrifice me.
In my new solitude,
I'm clear with the truth.
The world did not stop
turning without you.
The only one haulting
here is myself.
Life has gone on
with non of my help.
I've done my self in
one day at a time.
The world still turns.
Too bad it's not mine.

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.

Albino_Jenn
Member

since 2003-03-03

Posts 105
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2003-04-16 04:43 PM

I really liked this poem...very thought provoking and sentimental..the imagery was awesome..definately written from a kind heart...good job once again!!
Jenn

**It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not**

karebear07
Member

since 2003-04-15

Posts 64
Texas

2 posted 2003-04-16 07:04 PM

That was awesome. Felt like it was saying that you moved on but yet you feel you haven't. That is the way i see it. Makes you think about moving on in life which is something good to do.
-Karebear07 <>< Hidden in every poem is advise that can do alot.

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

3 posted 2003-04-17 09:26 AM

Somehow I know this well.....This is really sad!!!! Good write though!!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Honey
Member

since 2001-10-09

Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada

4 posted 2003-04-17 12:38 PM

I really liked this one. the way you used you words were wonderful keep up the good work my dear

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-04-17 01:29 PM

This is so good, I really liked the begging, I like the simple description of the kids laughing outside and the flag blowing in the wind, I really like the approach you took on this piece. Thanks for sharing, I really like your work..
~Lexy

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

6 posted 2003-04-19 03:29 PM

I really liked this one, as I do all of your work. You had a really good usage of imagery. Nice job! You have my vote!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.