Teen Poetry #6 |
The smile seen around the world? |
Trouble Breathing Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 63 |
If I had just one wish, One last opportunity, To feel your kiss, A moment etched in time, Where everything was perfect, And there wasn’t a doubt in my mind, That we could pass this test of time, Some days are harder than others, But better than any without you at all, I’d give you everything you wanted, And then I’d give you more, If that’s what it took to show you, You’re everything I wanted, With the cherry on top, I’d take you by the hand, And show you all you’ve never seen, Together we can stop the world, And make this moment last forever, Because the world that spins without your smile, Is a world I’m living in denial Chasing after you, Mile after mile, I’ve been thinking about it all the while.. But it’d be worth it just to get lost once more in your smile.. |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
very cool vibe in this one. the positive flow didn't let up and neither did the focus on what you wanted to say. nicely pieced together and it came full circle...really liked it. J.H. Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This is really sweet without being "mushy", and it flows really well. Good write. Jenni You are what you make yourself to be. |
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karebear07 Member
since 2003-04-15
Posts 64Texas |
you must be in love!! that is so kool. I wish you well with the love!! -Kara <>< |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
wow i could totally picture myself in so many diffrent places while reading that poem keep em coming It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
You did a wonderful job writing this poem, without making it sound too "cheesy." IT flowed really well. Really nice job! As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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