Teen Poetry #6 |
Again |
WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
This pain I know will pass away But right now it feels so lasting I'll cry these tears I'll lose another part of me But it's ok.... I've been dead before I'll weep until there's nothing left I'll drain the last of me Cry myself to sleep again To have more nightmares about my reality I shouldn't be used to it but.... I've been dead before How can I feel so empty inside Have I become just a shell? What have I done so wrong To bring this pain upon me? This isn't the first time I've been a void.... I've been dead before Screaming though you can't hear me Is there no one who can help? Im so alone it scares me I've lost my sense of self Don't let me fall into this darkness.... I don't want to be dead again. WinterWren |
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© Copyright 2003 Stephanie White - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I enjoyed this alot...and I like the paradox of alive in death, and dead while alive... illustrates the emotion precisely. Enjoyed. |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
I really liked that one too. It flowed very well and was very emotional and gripping ~*~Karen~*~ |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Thank you greatly for your replies! They are so appreciated. WinterWren |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
it's a sad thing when we become familiar and accepting of the pain of loss... to painted to picture of that kind of defeat very well. try to keep your chin up and don't let yourself die. J.H. Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
ooh...I liked it a lot. I felt the entire thing. Jenni You are what you make yourself to be. |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
"Screaming though you can't hear me Is there no one who can help? Im so alone it scares me I've lost my sense of self Don't let me fall into this darkness.... I don't want to be dead again." I really liked this one!!! You had an excellent use of imagery and the wording was perfect! Too bad you didn't consider this one for the book, it would have made it!!! Nice job, anyway! Absolutely wonderful! As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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