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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-04-15 02:15 PM

This pain I know will pass away
But right now it feels so lasting
I'll cry these tears
I'll lose another part of me
But it's ok....

I've been dead before

I'll weep until there's nothing left
I'll drain the last of me
Cry myself to sleep again
To have more nightmares about my reality
I shouldn't be used to it but....

I've been dead before

How can I feel so empty inside
Have I become just a shell?
What have I done so wrong
To bring this pain upon me?
This isn't the first time I've been a void....

I've been dead before

Screaming though you can't hear me
Is there no one who can help?
Im so alone it scares me
I've lost my sense of self
Don't let me fall into this darkness....

I don't want to be dead again.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-04-15 04:24 PM

I enjoyed this alot...and I like the paradox of alive in death, and dead while alive...

illustrates the emotion precisely.

Enjoyed.

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

2 posted 2003-04-15 05:48 PM

I really liked that one too. It flowed very well and was very emotional and gripping

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-04-16 12:51 PM

Thank you greatly for your replies!
They are so appreciated.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

4 posted 2003-04-17 06:50 PM

it's a sad thing when we become familiar and accepting of the pain of loss... to painted to picture of that kind of defeat very well.
try to keep your chin up and don't let yourself die.

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

5 posted 2003-04-17 10:22 PM

ooh...I liked it a lot. I felt the entire thing.
Jenni

You are what you make yourself to be.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

6 posted 2003-04-19 12:44 PM

"Screaming though you can't hear me
Is there no one who can help?
Im so alone it scares me
I've lost my sense of self
Don't let me fall into this darkness....

I don't want to be dead again."

I really liked this one!!! You had an excellent use of imagery and the wording was perfect! Too bad you didn't consider this one for the book, it would have made it!!! Nice job, anyway! Absolutely wonderful!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

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