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Teen Poetry #6
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What a hapy day
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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What a hapy day |
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infinite disaster Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69Illinois |
Lollipops and gumdrops Sugarplums and dums dums Tiptoe through the tulips Sipping on mint juleps Watching the sunset Spinning in circles Looking above At all the pretty doves What happy day Rolling through the pansy’s Singing kumbaya Sparkles in the sky Make me feel alive Gazing at the lava lamps Makes me wonder why What can I do? When all this time passes by What a happy day *My friend and I were just talking on the phone and came up with this b/c my last poem was um...disturbing. I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Akie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
sickly sweet..just kiddin' Its..good in a different way I suppose, nothing imparticular stood out for me though..Its okay for your poetry to be disturbing by the way, thats some of my favorite kind. Um...some suggestions for subject matter, if your thinking you don't want to write a "disturbing" piece..you could always write about how you wish things were..you still got that postitiveness without being..overly optimistic. ~Lex  |
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
Yeah I think this poem is too fake and cheerful. Besides I write disturbing poems all the time. Sometimes you can't change what's going to happen but you can change how you percieve it. |
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infinite disaster Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69Illinois |
To everyone: yes, i know this poem is wayyy too happy. that was the point. my friend was just joking aorund and saying that my last poem was extremely disturbing and dark to him. so my friend and i came up with this. i like my poems dark and depressing. can u ppl not realize what a joke is? The hardest thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intention of catching her. |
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LilElmo New Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 5illinois |
Akie that poem was sweet it makes me happy when i read it. Keep writing girly. Much love Meka |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
OH yay!! This poem made me crack up!! I'm so puting it in my library!! Heh...It was so sweet it was sick but it was still awsome! I like the fact that you just completely joked around with this piece, I think we all need a few of these! There hillarious!! Yay!! ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
It had a nice flow to it, regardless that it may have been a joking matter...I enjoyed it. Tomer |
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lingering thoughts Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70Illinois, USA |
well i have to say ... it was a great poem ! very intellectual and inspiring. Ive learned so much from this poem the imagery and the usefullness of it all ! BRAVO akie ! and who helped you wih this exquiste piece !? hehehe CaSSandra ***** five stars for you |
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infinite disaster Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69Illinois |
hahahaha. thanks cassie!!! i wonder who helped me too? *lol* glad u liked my exsquiste piece. *big words* *lol* much love, akie. The hardest thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intention of catching her. |
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