navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » What a hapy day
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic What a hapy day Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois

0 posted 2003-07-08 09:19 PM


Lollipops and gumdrops
Sugarplums and dums dums
Tiptoe through the tulips
Sipping on mint juleps
Watching the sunset
Spinning in circles
Looking above
At all the pretty doves
What happy day

Rolling through the pansy’s
Singing kumbaya
Sparkles in the sky
Make me feel alive
Gazing at the lava lamps
Makes me wonder why
What can I do?
When all this time passes by
What a happy day


*My friend and I were just talking on the phone and came up with this b/c my last poem was um...disturbing.

I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn.

© Copyright 2003 Akie - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-07-09 09:43 PM


sickly sweet..just kiddin' Its..good in a different way I suppose, nothing imparticular stood out for me though..Its okay for your poetry to be disturbing by the way, thats some of my favorite kind.
Um...some suggestions for subject matter, if your thinking you don't want to write a "disturbing" piece..you could always write about how you wish things were..you still got that postitiveness without being..overly optimistic.
~Lex

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
2 posted 2003-07-10 01:45 PM


Yeah I think this poem is too fake and cheerful.  Besides I write disturbing poems all the time.  

Sometimes you can't change what's going to happen but you can change how you percieve it.

infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois
3 posted 2003-07-10 04:15 PM


To everyone: yes, i know this poem is wayyy too happy. that was the point. my friend was just joking aorund and saying that my last poem was extremely disturbing and dark to him. so my friend and i came up with this.

i like my poems dark and depressing. can u ppl not realize what a joke is?


The hardest thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intention of catching her.

LilElmo
New Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 5
illinois
4 posted 2003-07-10 09:47 PM


Akie that poem was sweet it makes me happy when i read it. Keep writing girly. Much love Meka
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
5 posted 2003-07-10 10:33 PM


OH yay!! This poem made me crack up!! I'm so puting it in my library!! Heh...It was so sweet it was sick but it was still awsome! I like the fact that you just completely joked around with this piece, I think we all need a few of these! There hillarious!! Yay!!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
6 posted 2003-07-11 02:46 PM



It had a nice flow to it, regardless that it may have been a joking matter...I enjoyed it.
Tomer

lingering thoughts
Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70
Illinois, USA
7 posted 2003-07-12 09:55 PM


well i have to say ... it was a great poem ! very intellectual and inspiring. Ive learned so much from this poem the imagery and the usefullness of it all ! BRAVO  akie ! and who helped you wih this exquiste piece !?
hehehe
CaSSandra

***** five stars for you

infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois
8 posted 2003-07-14 03:20 AM


hahahaha. thanks cassie!!! i wonder who helped me too? *lol* glad u liked my exsquiste piece. *big words* *lol*
much love, akie.

The hardest thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intention of catching her.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » What a hapy day

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary