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Teen Poetry #6
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Halcyon
Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43
Arizona, USA

0 posted 2003-04-10 08:50 AM


"Waiting for you"

One by one, the days pass by
Beneath the clouds of the green-and-blue sky.
I am there, wishing to be the one for you,
One who will make all of your dreams come true.
What do you see? What do you hear?
When everything you need is so very near,
Thinking of you, writing of you, dreaming of you,
While quietly waiting.

There are others, people who want,who desire, who pursue,
Their urging need to be with you.
They push me aside, with everything but care
And ignore the fact that I am even there.
I long for the day that I can tell you, once and for all
The feelings I get whenever I hear your call.
Every time we meet, my hidden passion tries to come through.
But when I look into your eyes I freeze, not knowing what to do.
So I stand there, waiting.

Only these questions come across my mind,
Those whose answers I really want to find,
Wondering if you hold the same desire:
The same, strong inner-burning fire.
I ask myself if this love was meant to be,
My one true treasure in the ever-shining sea.
So when you and I can be together
And our destiny can come true,
Look about and I will be there,
Forever waiting for you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Wow, my first poem put out for all to see.  I've been recently exploring rhyme, and this is my second shot at it(the first was for Valentine's).  I usually write poetry in free verse though.  The idea came to me yesterday at lunch when another guy approached a certain someone that I was about to have a meaningful talk with.  Ever since I met her, there was always something in the way, be it school, personal reasons, or someone else with an interest in her, but in the last couple of weeks we've gotten closer.  It was this that gave me the inspiration to continue on.

So if you have any suggestions or comments I'd appreciate it. I'm going to give this to her on tommorow, once I get it all prepared and things.  
Btw, does anyone know of any graphics with that bashful, little boy holding his hands behind his back like on those greeting cards, or something similar?  It would fit this poem perfectly.

           
Only the warrior who can admit mortal weakness will be bolstered by immortal strength

© Copyright 2003 Marc Afan - All Rights Reserved
Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.
1 posted 2003-04-10 10:05 AM


You can tell you really like her in this poem. And if she isn't brain dead she will understand how you feel too. I liked how you ended with the ABAB rhyme. It gave the poem some closure.

Good luck!
I think she will be yours after she reads this.

Darkness

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
2 posted 2003-04-10 11:51 AM


This is such a great poem, I am sure that she will love it
frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
3 posted 2003-04-10 03:22 PM


It would win me over, I love sweet guys, and that was a very sweet poem,  I can't wait to read more of your work

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-04-10 03:28 PM


Well, it looks as if we have another LOVE poet. I thoroughly enjoyed this!
WELCOME to Passions!

Halcyon
Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43
Arizona, USA
5 posted 2003-04-12 03:04 AM


Thanks, everyone.  It means a lot to me.  Last night, I put it with a background drawing and made a special print for her.. and yes, she loved it.  
It even took the place of her favorite Orlando Bloom picture on her binder.  Maybe this will opportunity for a new start for something.  

The only thing was that I was hoping one more blessing would come out of it.  A dance was coming up, and I was wondering if I could ask her a certain question that I've been so pressed upon by her friends -- but it was too late.  Someone had already asked her to the one dance: the prom.  I'll be gone for a while to think things over.  
So long for now...

quote:
"So when you and I can be together and our destiny can come true, look about and I will be there, forever waiting for you."


                                
Only the warrior who can admit mortal weakness will be bolstered by immortal strength


[This message has been edited by Halcyon (04-12-2003 03:22 AM).]

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