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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-04 08:11 AM

alas the wounded heart shall heal
the pain is almost to much
watch as i collapse into a worthless heap
do you even care anymore
regretting the day i first set eyes on you
that day was so magical
talking obviously did nothing at all
another was invovled and you didn't tell me
scared of tears shed yet another day
living by the ends of my soul i pray
will we always be friends maybe more no
the worst part is yet to come i fear
relentlessly you crash back at me over and over
over and over you go over and over
your eyes tell me everything i might need to know
i don't love you i never really have
that scares me more than anything
if only you knew what i did every night cry
i fear for our friendship as it will never go further
pain far to intense for you to imagine
i wonder more or less do you even care
the answer i have predicated many a time
it all comes to once thing

maybe

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

[This message has been edited by Riley (10-04-2002 08:11 AM).]

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

1 posted 2002-10-04 08:18 AM

Go Riley Go Riley its ur b-day not really but hey hey!!!you go girl!!

*$*Chloey*$*

You can fall from the sky,
You can fall from a tree,but,
The best way to fall is in love with me

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-10-04 11:00 AM

I didn't understand the last line exactly. Maybe it's just worded funny, I don't know... I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

I like what you did with the italics, though. Gives a very nice effect to the poem.

Good work, Riley.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

3 posted 2002-10-04 12:25 PM

I think she meant "comes down to one thing...maybe"

Like his answer is always maybe.
Just my thoughts. I liked this, just think a few gramatical errors/spelling could be altered to make it really good.

Nice job
Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2002-10-04 07:29 PM

Hey everyone...yea thats what I ment that his answer is always maybe......I wrote this on the spur of a moment and more to come soon.........I shall be watching for your work as well....
Ri

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

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