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Destined
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Destined |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
Destined to walk the road call life Destined to crumble under pressure and strife Destined to wonder and loose my way Destined to have to answer and not know what to say Destined to miss things that I have to see Destined to have things taken from me Destined to want everything I know Destined to never have it show Destined to know what to do Destined to never have it go through |
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| © Copyright 2003 Matt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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X Q poet Junior Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 47 |
Hi, Nice... I can relate to much of this, I really can. And I think it says a lot too... You could put in some more work on the rythm part though... Some of the lines are a little too short and some are a little too long, could be good to re-work some of them... But otherwise, a really nice poem!  |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
I think X Q Poet gave you some really good advice. With a little bit of work, this could be a really great piece. Overall, good job. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Yes, this is so very true and I believe life is always contradictory but we have to always embrace the positive state of it! (sigh) Know much has yet to await you, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Matt, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Matt~ You've expressed these thoughts and feelings very well. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Hmm... your poem looks great, except for some typo here and there. Destined to (wander) and (lose) my way Matt, I think you were probably in a depressed state of mind when you wrote this. Cheer up! I believe in fate and destiny too. I think that certain things are fated, but our future still lies in our hands. Everything step we take may be a step towards a different future... So take heart and believe in yourself! _,,,^.^,,,_ Florence [This message has been edited by Mon Cherie (05-05-2003 10:57 AM).] |
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