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Teen Poetry #6
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Some joke
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Some joke |
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pearl6884 Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 72California coast 
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I went to your house today To watch our 5 o'clock show We always did Your mother played a nasty joke She said you weren't home With tears in her eyes No, you don't understand I told her She never misses this hour But she said you had left And weren't coming back She explained you were among The stars now But silly her, I know this can't be true But I didn't tell her That the stars aren't Good enough for you. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sarah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
this is so good!! its also sad i love the last line though cant wait to read more!! ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
I also love this, the last line is so cute but I couldn't believe someone would do that. This is a good post! Can't wait to read more from you. Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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Drummerboy06 Junior Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 46Indiana |
Sweet and sorrowful, that how i would describe it. This was very good, i like it a lot. I do, though, have a suggestion for you: to make the poem a little bit easier to read and understand, put quotation marks around the dialogue, that way the reader wont have to go hunting for who says what. Other than that, it was great. Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert F |
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pearl6884 Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 72California coast |
Thanks to everyone who read this...I greatly appreciate your comments! *To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower...Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour...* |
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