Teen Poetry #6 |
Claws, Poison, and Salt (revision) |
BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
I went through and redid it, sorry of it makes people mad that I reposted it. --------------------------------------------------- Claws grasp my heart They burn like dragon's fire The muscle charred to a deep ashy black The tears I cry at night They flow like a salty black river Drowning me in despair The scars on my soul The feel like that of a poison dagger Continuously reminding me of past deception I have no where to run to Where ever I hide The pain still finds me The claws dig still deeper into my flesh Pushing me down under the ever coursing river The salt irritating the scars even more Why was I chosen as their host? I only wish to know What wrong I have committed Maybe some day the dragons will leave The river will dry up And the dagger will be sheathed But until then This is what I must carry This is my punishment [This message has been edited by BrokenAngel (03-21-2003 06:42 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Hannah Rochelle Garner - All Rights Reserved | |||
carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Very sad but good write Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
This hit home for me. I like your use of words, good write! Oh yeah, you have my vote! ~Jess "The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Great job on this, Hannah. You've expressed the thoughts and feelings very well. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
This is an absolutely beautiful poem! You had an awesome use of imagery...nice visuals, great expression of feelings!!! You have my vote!!! As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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sing'n fool Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 82Morris, Il |
Beautiful write. Very sad though. I could feel your pain, and I can relate! I can't wait to read more of your work. You did have a typo too though Great write. The scars on my soul The(y) feel like that of a poison dagger Continuously reminding me of past deception Be yourself. Say what you feel. Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!! [This message has been edited by sing'n fool (04-22-2003 03:08 PM).] |
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
It's a very good poem. And i can really understand how you feel but that's just the way it is sometimes. Don't lose hope. I look foorward to you writing more. good job. ~Keep dreaming~ |
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