Teen Poetry #6 |
Unrequited |
anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
If I could tear out these chains that bind me. then I wont be here again, Broken-winged and confused. If I could break this cycle; avoid the all-consuming flame. It wont be you the next time. but it would still be the same. same story, different face. same heart, fresh pain... *** here i go again, another sad love story,i love you...... why do you love her???????? * you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or |
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© Copyright 2002 anawnda - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is always such a tragic situation... I like how you wrote it, but I think you might want to think up some images that are more original. I appreciate your wanting to bring the concept of pain into a visual sense, but "chains that bind me" and "all-consuming flame" are rather common notions. Just a bit of advice. I like the structure of this. Oh, and I love your picture... it's really cool. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i too found it a little cliched. but i do like where you're going with it. i particularly enjoyed the last stanza quote: nicely done. /jen/ i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister. |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
i know, i just wanted to vent at that time,its like so frustrating to be in the same situation over and over with just slight modifications. I guess its not their fault since i get so intense when I'm in love. why is it so hard?????!!!!!! |
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