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Teen Poetry #6

The Shing Sea

Ree Ree
Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 56
providence, RI

0 posted 2003-03-04 05:56 PM

It seems that none of my dreams come true,
and i really don't know why.
Instead, now, i seek the past
for pain
and cozy insecurity.
Warm and Comfy.
Knowing,
all the while,
where i stand
and caring very little.
Being imperfect, my crime,
is all i've ever known.
And now,
caught red handed,
i am left here, for a crime you too commit,
Everyday
blatantly,
without seeing
This conflict;
your denial vs. My acceptance,
Which i beleive is what pulled us apart.
Under these layers of superficiality
lies your dependence on your own lies
to who you wish you were.
who, i beleive, you could
and may
be.
Maybe.
Someday.
Just not here,
not now.
This place can't serve you
understanding.
only meatloaf, unbuttered, unsalted corn,
and perhaps a fruit cup.
Even these you'll firmly turn away.
I can't feed you acceptance,
that's not my life.
So what IS left
is my acceptance
of your denial
and hopefully
some day
your acceptance of this place.

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

1 posted 2003-03-04 06:10 PM

Great write and read!

*Chloey*

I write what I feel and I feel what I write.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

2 posted 2003-03-04 10:47 PM

Nicely done! It soesn't have a real ryhme scheme to it but it still flows well. A suggestion I would make would be to work on the flowing a little more. I like the metaphors used and it was an enjpyable read!
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

3 posted 2003-03-06 03:23 PM

Very nice poem, made me think. Good write

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

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