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Flowers for the Dead
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Flowers for the Dead |
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REQUIEM: New Member
since 2002-09-15
Posts 6 |
Foreshadowed Romantic scent of Death on sweetest hour, folding my Heart into a square; and With the Full moon, am I. Absolutely a l o n e. inasmuch as Breathing through a painting by Vincent van Gogh. Permit my eyes of melancholy Sweetness, giving forth a reason. In Searching for an Angel...although. NONE do Exist. Yet- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain [This message has been edited by REQUIEM: (03-04-2003 05:40 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 anonymous albert ? - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Fariegirl Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147 |
good. |
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Chloey Member
since 2002-09-29
Posts 74in a silver mustang convertible |
Nice Job! I write what I feel and I feel what I write. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
What kind of replies are these?  anyway- this was pretty great. It deserves more replies. The style this was written in was nice. I loved the ending especially. I'd like to hear what some of your thoughts are on this. I thought you wrote it very well. Hope to read more.  -j- Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Now here is someone I've been itching to see.  I'm dittoing dopes on those replies - idiots. Anyway, beautiful as per usual and it's got me thinking. Wonderful imagery and the punctuation/construction appears well thought out. You're still as talented as ever and no words can describe how much I've missed reading your work.  More, now.  ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
I absolutely love the style used here and thought how you did this..."a l o n e." was a show of originality. Please, keep em comin!! Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
That thing that was done with alone was not original. And out of curiousity, can you please explain the purpose of it, what it does for the poem? *Just so I can see why* casey |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
I think the way that REQUIEM did the alone thing added a lot of style to the piece, and even if it wasn't that original I think that it was used well, very nice poem, it was emotional and well thought out. ~*~Karen~*~ |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I like this piece alot, the title really caught my attention. What the alone does for the poem in my opinion is that it gets the point across more, it makes me read that part slower, which in turn makes it more heartfelt. WinterWren |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Whoa, very effective emphasis on the word "alone," paying special detail to each and every element--in this case, each letter--giving the reader a sense of just how small and fragile the parts of "alone" can feel... I'm so glad you ended with "yet." There is hope, yes yes!! ~Carly empty arms and half a soul to go -el sol --Zwan [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (03-06-2003 10:29 PM).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hmm... interesting. Emphasis on alone? Why on earth would somebody do that? Ever been alone casey? hehe Sometimes it's horrible and some people feel the need to do that to a certain word, not out of "originality" but out of a need to connect with the audience. How alone? Pretty damn alone. Sometimes the lonliness in the world can kill. Personally, I am not bothered by being alone, but hey that's me. I enjoyed the poem, and had no problem with the "alone" part. I just didn't appreciate the kind of reply some one gave. Mah bad. Anyhow, good poem. Lookin' forward to more. -j- Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end. |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I can understand the emphasis, but I would like to see if the poet has a poetic reason for it. You can't just throw something in a poem to be cute. My main concern was the fact that some thought the emphasis to be "original" which it isn't. Now if the poet would like to explain their reasoning it would be much appreciated. Casey |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I agree with you on the explanation. I'd like to see it myself. I was just commenting on the fashion you expressed yourself in. No worries, it's all good.  |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I enjoyed this poem. alone... well alone can be good, but most of the time it sucks the big one. i enjoyed the poem alot, i like the form and everything to it. PS talk to ya soon, k? Regina "heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
REQUIEM - first off - I love the name - secondly = Welcome to PIP! This was amazing - I just loved it - xxoo |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
I liked it! Good write!  ~J.Lynn  "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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