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Teen Poetry #6
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PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2003-03-04 01:34 PM


I broke, I cried
I said never, I said goodbye
Yet somehow you slipped through

I promised, I swore
I put walls, I locked doors
Yet somehow you snuck in

We fell, we loved
I felt secure, I felt safe
Yet somehow I knew

You promised, You swore
you said love, you opened the door
Yet somehow you broke my heart

I've cried, I've wept
you left me, you ran away
Yet somehow I still care

I've promised, I've swore,
I've put walls, I've put doors
Yet somehow I know

I push, I hide
I try bricks, I try barriers
Yet somehow it'll break again
-------------------------------
It's been a while since I've posted, been pretty busy! Please tell me what you think, it seems a bit rough, so I'd enjoy any criticism you can give! Thanks!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

© Copyright 2003 Serena Marie Corbella - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2003-03-04 06:44 PM


I liked this one. I really hope that things get better for you. Sounds like a rough time.
Good luck, and great poem.

-j-

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
2 posted 2003-03-05 02:04 PM


Thanx for the input.

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2003-03-10 01:21 AM



Serena~
It's great to see you posting again.
I enjoyed this piece and thought you conveyed
the feelings very well.  I'll be watching for more.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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