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Teen Poetry #6

Rise

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

0 posted 2003-03-04 03:24 AM

With a mechanical inflection
And a flap to the bass line
Samples of a thousand moments
Are mixed without missing a beat.

Depth… Low… High…

The spin reverses with a touch
Becoming distorted and clarified
And in a single instant of euphoria
A union heartbeat rules the crowd.

Rise… Rise… Rise…

There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"?

boy and his spirit
Junior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 41
within my heart

1 posted 2003-03-04 10:28 AM

Innovative.
I like it.
the rise... rise... rise... part was a little tacky, but i really liked what you had to say. It was very nicely written.

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

2 posted 2003-03-04 01:21 PM

very nice! I really like it, I agree with boy and spirit about the rise thing, but its very good!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

3 posted 2003-03-04 08:11 PM

Thanx for your comments. I would have to agree with you though the rise bit is tacky. It was one of those things that you think of when you haven't got anything to write it down on, I forgot a whole verse too!

There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"?

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